I mean, I AM happy! I feel so grateful. It’s so beautiful here. But it’s a lot to take in. Like A LOT. My predominant modes are overwhelm and exhaustion. 

I am not complaining! I don’t take anything for granted — this is true always, but now more than ever. I acknowledge how privileged I am to have the opportunity to be here. I just need to honor my feelings. And I need to be authentic. Two weeks in I can say, this is authentically HARD.

Ok, enough whining. This is my version of what has happened in the first two weeks of Hugh and I living here:

I’ve spent at least 50% of my time working in the kitchen. I’ve organized many a kitchen in my life, not only for me but for a few clients and, for some reason, this one is coming together very slowly. Hugh thinks it’s because this one is larger than my prior kitchens. I’ll go with that because I don’t have an alternative explanation. 

Working in the kitchen also includes cooking, prepping and processing food, which is VERY time consuming. First, I spent time figuring out how to source food. The local supermarket is small, and there are a number of products I can’t find there. I ended up getting a Thrive subscription, which is really weird as I never before ordered groceries online — oh Park Slope Food Coop, how I miss thee. 

I located all the local farmers’ markets. Win! We will have fresh produce until late September or early October. After that? Well… this is where the seasonality of the country comes in. We are used to eating large quantities of fresh vegetables, but that is not sustainable in places with long winters, unless, of course, we become greenhouse gurus and, like those survivalists I admire in Alaska, we get to grow beautiful lettuces and arugula under a plastic tarp when it’s zero degrees out. That is not happening this year. I think for us it’s going to be lots of potato and cabbage.

Meat-wise I think we are going to be ok. This area has ample pastures and enough farmers who manage them as they should always be managed: with pastured animals. There is plenty of good quality beef, chicken, pork, lamb and even rabbit, turkey and, of course, venison and trout stocked in farmers’ freezers to hopefully get us through until we get a chest freezer ourselves and I can plan a little longer term.    

I made ice-cream for the first time in at least 3 years. I was very excited that the ice cream bowl fits in the freezer as the Harlem apartment had a tiny fridge and the thing was relegated to the furthest corner of the kitchen cabinet. I still had some chocolate I got last year in Oaxaca and even though Mexican chocolate has good flavor, it doesn’t have the best texture so, it was lingering in the pantry. I applied some culinary intuition and the result was some pretty decent dairy-free, egg-free and very low sugar Mexican chocolate ice cream.

I made peanut butter for the first time in my life. I have three devices where I can make nut butter but I guess I never felt “homestead-y” enough to do it. I don’t know if I can keep it up. Hugh’s demand for PB is high. 

And then we realized that the three apple trees (update: I’ve discovered another 2 apple trees!) in the property are serious about producing fruit and we started harvesting apples. The trees must be at least 50 years old. I know they weren’t planted by the previous owners — who were here for 42 years. I’d love to know the history of these apple trees. Also, I need an apple tree doctor! 

So far I’ve made a giant apple pie and I started a batch of apple scraps vinegar (not to be confused with apple cider vinegar). It should be ready in a couple of months. I also grilled apples with tarragon. That needs to be a thing because they were delish! 

I started a composting and garbage organization system. It’s too early to say if/how it works. All I know about composting is that it’s the foundation of food production and my intention is to develop a whole system here that takes all the compostable matter we produce and that we end up bringing very little to the dump. Because, yes. Here we pay for garbage disposal. Either we bring it to the dump — cheaper — or we get a pick up service — more expensive.

Last week flew by between client work and semi-organizing my clothes. I’ve also been talking to lots of people on the phone: internet services, burning wood delivery, oil delivery, pest management, gas delivery…the list of services that support rural living is long. I am amazed and humbled that my comfort depends on just as many, if not more, people than it did in the city, even when my intention is to become more self-reliant — the irony. 

Hugh has been doing lots of things outside of the house. He installed the mailbox, fixed one of the steps in the porch that was becoming hazardous, and bought tools for various tasks: string trimmer, hedge trimmer, chain saw, ax… The learning curve is intense and he seems frustrated. Amidst all this he still has a job that requires I think around 50 hours in an easy week. BUT he still makes time to take beautiful pictures, like these…